How do I sum it up?
by the time you hear this I'll be stepping inside of 31
see, I just wanna come to peace with it all
I'm tired of being at odds with what is what
like, what is the point of waking up
open my eyes to find they murder us
so murderous, we hurting but
they've heard enough, so shut it up
corporate sponsors pick a side, they burning stuff
we pay a price to say what's right
you playing nice, you stay at heights so high
but deep down you paid it twice
no running back when you want it back
now what is that?

And what is this?
gotta watch all things I'm putting to my lips
trying to switch my mentality from stuffing my face
to being more mindful of what's on the plate
alarms going off to remind me take another pill
not trying to be another brother blood pressure kills
and it's crazy
never thought I'd say these things til I was 80
got me going insane
see, now everything's changing
cause the minute I feel off
I start thinking of last days these days
healthcare is never the forefront until that health scare
and even then we taking a chance
cause rarely do we have the means to pay in advance
so it's either live with it and get over it
or die working to pay the debt from the overages
that's why I'm focusing on the front end
see, a pill is to mitigate
I'm trying to eliminate
get the weight off my shoulders, hips and the waist
change the story here
extend my life at least another 30 years

And over half of that
I've known a cool dude who has had my back
we've grown to two fools that have had some laughs
made songs you'd move to
catalogs of tracks
congratulations, he just tied the knot
had so much to say but I just had to stop
so I'll say it here
come and take a chair
chop it up with your brother
been a major year
between changing jobs and just making strides
trying to find what it is to keep the flame alive
that creative spirit
I know you got stories for days
you just gotta give the people a way to hear them
and that's coming from me
we're two sides of the same coin
so we know how the other thinks
and speaking of your other half
it's funny, been there from the beginning
that was the difference between her and the other women
I got to see it bloom
from first meeting to brunch weekends
to us speaking about life on hot nights
AC on blast, chilling in your room
during my toast, I made that joke
about friends being stolen
but I never got to flip the motive
no, it's quite the opposite
I'm not losing a brother
I'm gaining a sister
therefore, I wish for nothing but the best
and I just had to make it clear so it's never guessed
whenever, yes, my time is yours
y'all moved a few times but the closeness has never left

In fact, a bit jealous
cause I don't wanna guess
I just wanna know
and I don't want a no
I just want a yes
you gotta watch your steps
you gotta watch the stress
you're wearing on your heart
and I'm out here dodging death
but I wanna find the one
give me something to believe in
beyond a season, I'm talking knee-deep
we in this for the long run
til they hook them cords up
til they pull the plug
cause I'm no longer breathing
see, I talk about it
but it's always perfect, no fault about it
and imagine all the theory
but the execution takes far more work than you thought about it
spent so much time knowing yourself without it
you don't know who you are when you aren't without it
still growing, still getting the hang
still find yourself still shifting the blame
and you know it's not fair
you seeking what you wanting
but you can't seem to distinguish the teaching moments
from the red flags
you gotta ask yourself, am I giving it my all?
am I giving it my best? why or why not?
why am I not fine with what I have? and why am I shocked?
why is this hard? who said it was easy?
maybe it's all the things in the movies and TV
I just wanna know
and I just want a yes
and I don't want a no
and I don't wanna guess

And I am but a guest in this life
I'm paying visits to anyone I cross paths
and if we are friends, keep me dear to your heart, fam
if I ever wronged you, I hope it never left a mark
cause some scars may define who you are
and I apologize for it
if you ever see me and want it face to face
no problem, I'm on it
no problem I'm wanting
cause it's hard enough just trying to vibe with my budget
and my debt
and my life
and my death
and my work
and my play
and my nights
and my days
and my passions
and my thoughts
what I say, from my heart, it's always
in all ways, I just hope that it's good every all day
to my mother, you're a star, hey
and I appreciate the calls just to talk
even after working hard days
and to my brothers, you know I love ya
I ain't even have to say it but I did
cause I wanted to capture the sentiment
from beginning to end
don't know when it is
but this way, you'll know what it is
and can play it back
I said it first so you could say it back
call and response when you say it that way
essentially, wanna do away with the misery
I just wanna be fine with what I've given these
past thirty something years, find the symmetry
a balance between who I am and pretend to be
trying to answer these questions
never know what to expect but
in the end, if my head and heart agree
then that's all I need, I'm all at peace